~dear E.D.~ *trigger warning*

• I wrote & shared this letter to say goodbye to my eating disorder a couple of years ago. It was the start of a new year & I wanted to let go. I used to overexercise & restrict what I ate leading to unhealthy weight loss. It caused health issues for both my body & mind.

• Starting a new chapter meant finding a balance of exercise, learning about proper nutrition, & re-framing my mindset. If you are struggling I encourage you to reach out to loved ones & get help if you need to. It’s still been hard at times since writing this letter, but choosing to heal was the best decision I’ve made. 🤍

Dear Eating Disorder,

For the past 5 years you have been with me during every holiday, every time I hang out with family and friends, every practice and race, every test, everything. Today, I want to say goodbye to you. It’s really scary to share this, but I think its more important to not be afraid of it. Owning it might help me accept leaving it behind. And hopefully I can help anyone struggling, feel less alone.

When things were uncertain or scary, I had you to bring me “comfort” because you made me feel in control. But really you brought me pain, made me insecure, and I lost so much in the process.

Everyone functions their best in a different body. There is no one perfect size or look. There is only a perfect you. For so long you told me there was a definition I had to fit as a girl and a runner. And my goal-oriented personality pushed my behaviors to become unhealthy.

I don’t regret having to deal with you, despite how scary and sad it’s been. I have learned so much about what it means to battle with my insecurities and let them go. I’ve learned who and what I value and need in my life. You’ve made me the person I am today and I feel happy and proud of myself for realizing I need to let you go. I know you’ll still linger in my thoughts, but I will no longer let you control me.

I want to thank my family and my closest friends that have helped me get over you. Because I honestly couldn’t have done it without you guys. I want anyone else who’s going through something to know that you’re not alone. Find the people and things that make you the most happy in life. Be the perfectly imperfect you because that is enough.

– julia🤍